What is ethically justified? I need to ask myself this question a thousand times a day because I work with people. I wouldn’t say mistakes are not allowed, but I sure as hell make sure that I do everything in my power to prevent those. And for that, I need to reflect daily on my work. But that is no news. The question I want to ask myself today is: should I do what my client wants, or should I do what my client needs?
Although working with people is a very beautiful thing to be busy with, it’s also very exhausting. You have to deal with a human’s mind, a human’s life, a human’s system, a human’s lessons, and of course a human’s mistakes. It’s definitely not easy. It’s in our nature to always ”want it our way.” So when you as a professional try to work in the best interest of your client, but your client thinks he knows better, or is so stubborn and still wants it his or her way… you need to know where you are going to stand and how you’re going to deal with that.
It happened to me so many times. I would just stipple out the best plan for my client and it all is thrown in the trash because my client doesn’t agree with a small part of it (or all of it! #*&@^$\). Sometimes I get lucky and I get to explain my point of view, but most of the times my clients don’t want to hear anything about it. In the beginning, when I was still a rookie in the professional field, I could get really mad at them. Of course, I never showed that to them, but I would seriously become so pissed that they didn’t want to listen to my advice that I would turn from a sweet little kitty to a very strict teacher. Although I was never taught to be like this with my clients, as a professional, I noticed that it worked. My clients didn’t get scared of me, I wouldn’t say that. But they would understand how serious the matter was to me and for them. They would understand that I was putting so much effort into something that wasn’t of importance to me… but that I was doing all this for them.
As time flew by, I saw how this method was helping me in my work and helping my clients achieve what they want. I saw how it improved my bond with them and how they started to respect me more, not so much as a professional, but as someone who stands next to them, acting in their best interest. It was actually like being as a strict teacher. Students have to learn a lot. In order to learn, they need to know that not everything they want can happen. Like skipping classes, drinking alcohol, neglecting their homework, talking and laughing during classes. If teachers wouldn’t be strict, then our children wouldn’t learn what is good for them and what is bad. They wouldn’t know how to be disciplined.
So yeah, my employers keep telling me to do what my clients want me to do. But who are we fooling? Ourselves or them? I’m an Applied Psychologist, a Coach, a Humanitarian. If I’m acting on the wishes of my clients, knowing that I am not helping them achieve their goals, then what good am I? What good am I if I know for a fact how to help them, but neglecting this information because I ”have to act upon the wishes of my clients” who are not informed in a proper way in the first place?
So what is right? How am I supposed to act? What rules should I act upon? And what is ethically justified?
Well, what is right? Being able to fix a problem and have the smile of your client as a result. How am I supposed to act? like me. I’m the only instrument I can use in my work with humans. I am me, I do what I do because I love it, I help people because I want them to be happy and without worries. So I act like myself. If I think I know what is right than I act upon that because neglecting my ”gut-feeling” is the worst thing I can do as a professional. And If I copy what others do then I wouldn’t make a difference. Working with people is custom-made work. To be able to work with customization I need to be myself.
Oh and BTW: I don’t get pissed anymore as I did when I was a rookie, don’t worry. Because I understand my clients better. I understand where their wishes and reaction come from. They don’t know better than to wanna live a better life. But I still can play a very good part as a strict teacher. I just want you to remember that everyone wants what is best for themselves. If you work with people you need to understand this part, so you can understand them.
<3 Arwa
I am me, I do what I do because I love it, I help people because I want them to be happy and without worries. So I act like myself.
